my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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