Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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