I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
