good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
