i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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