i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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