OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize