I swear she didn't look like that last week.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Who died my cat blue again?
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