i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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