I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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