i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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