Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
