I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
