dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
