Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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