I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
