Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
