your room smells of hookers.
And success
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
