Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
