I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
