I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
