i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
