Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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