I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
