Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
