You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
