I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
