so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
