Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
