talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
