Don't you send me to vm
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
