what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
