so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
