Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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