Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
