you guys were way drunker than both of me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
