Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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