and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
