I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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