I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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