so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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