dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
