Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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