I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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