I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
