the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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