I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
