I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
