if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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