My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
