Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
