I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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