Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
