i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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