Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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